Wednesday, July 20, 2011

It's All Fun And Games Until Dean Butler Loses A Shirt

A huge thanks to Margie Lawson, who not only put examples of my empowered writing up on agent Andrea Hurst's Authornomics blog this week but spiked Vortex visitation by also including linkage here from her Open House landing page.  Veteran Vortexers know what this means: recent keyword activity fun!

In the past week, new visitors have googled, yahooed, binged or otherwise searched for the following and landed here...

bengay armpit accident
This sounds like a candidate for the Darwin award. A repeat on the Vortex fun list. Apparently, I am a go-to person for the 4-1-1 on this topic.

my house smells like buttery popcorn ghosts
My condolences. My house smells like the ill-advised Febreeze "New Zealand" fragrance.  More like a skanky tavern in New Zealand where the guy next to you is allergic to hygene and has mold in his pockets.

dean butler shirtless
This one is the universe cycling Little House on the Prairie back to me time and again. Is the eppy "Sweet Sixteen" my fave, ever? Yes.  Does Dean go all man-titty? No. Never have I seen The Butler sans shirt. Would that I had, I'd be your go-to girl for the deets. Wasn't he positively deamy?

tom selleck's ass
Are you kidding me? We talk about dangling participles and grammar most days. I feel so cheap.  Mostly because I can't report with any authority on this topic, either.

"is a relation between those sensations and those memories which simultaneously encircle us"
This sounds like something I might have written on my college entry essay.  The writer I am now would tear this like a Dean Butler shirt. Those, twice? Slay that -ly!

how to write Jake Gyllenhaal
If I was in the know on this, I wouldn't be wasting my time writing four hundred page tomes.  I'd be writing those cursive jobbers on hand-dipped paper and trying to elevate fan-girl into literary art.

how old is l.a. mitchell
I can only assume this google-searcher was seeking the other L.A. Mitchell, who by the way is a very successful singer in New Zealand.  Go ahead, peek. I'll share you with her. Think she gets emails asking about Fabio's lahve-attack and time travel?

oops.  I wasn't supposed to mention he-who-shall-never-again-be-mentioned.  Sorry.

time traveling orgies
Whoa.  Let's not get excited here. Geez.  I put orgy in one blog title and it is now half the search hits. Those of you looking to increase blog traffic take note: Tomato Soup Recipe Orgy! Went To See Harry Potter This Weekend Orgy! Hum-Drum Monday Orgy! Figurative Language Orgy!

macgyver romance
I'm pretty sure we settled this here. But just in case-yes, it was me. And it was fabulous.

Was it fun for you?


the walking man said...

Whatever it takes to get that traffic moving along the electrocarmageddon highway and into your little store i say is cool.

Charles Gramlich said...

Porn drives the world it seems.

Jeff Rivera said...

Orgy >.< Everyone has kinky sex fantasies hidden very deep in their hearts I suppose haha!

L.A. Mitchell said...

@TWM...maybe you could incorporate it into one of your ditties :) Detroit and orgy.

@Charles...definitely ebook romance sales :O

@Jeff...Welcome :) Glad you joined the craziness here.

Jeff Rivera said...

Actually, I do love some romance but the thing is I don't indulge with too much flesh though. It's better to make those fantasies in private.