Thursday, May 8, 2008

Sand in the Seat-Of-The-Pants-Draft-One

Ten things I learned about writing while vacationing on the beach:

1) Hearing The Police sing "Everything She Does is Magic" while editing helps to get into the vibe. Hearing it repeated on a ten-song soundtrack piped out through the pool's Bose speakers beats that vibe to a pulp.

2) During wind advisory beach conditions, the best page of your manuscript, along with your red canvas umbrella will take flight. Fellow beach-goers will either find themselves inspired by your words or get a paper cut Mary Poppins-style.

3) Drinking a Blue Moon on draft with an orange wedge while re-reading your manuscript will only make Margie Lawson's Deep Edit notes seem like that senior college course, second semester, you abandoned for Spring Break in Mexico.

4) Through the veil of sunglasses, lacquered with SPF-30, the crystal clear resort pool looks infinitely more appealing than the dialogue you've highlighted in blue.

5) Too much sun and the forty year old in the Speedo near the wet bar transforms Faulkner-esque prose into snippy, staccato sentences where people die.

6) The most under-utilized sensation you've yet to use in your writing is the sand slipping away beneath your feet as the waves recede into the ocean.

7) Sandpipers run faster than you'll ever type.

8) The fog rolling onto the beach at 4 am feels just like the masochistic day 29 of NaNoWrite.

9) The stranger next to you on the plane will always read what you've written. Always. And nothing kills a creative flow faster than a meaty fist clinging to a Filet 'O Fish on a turbulent ascent.

10) The Rastafarian at the Head Shop, no matter how authentic he smells, would always be considered by your critics to be a cliched character.


Marilyn Brant said...

Welcome home, L.A.! Your #5 made me laugh aloud :-).

Katie Reus said...

Aahhh, Blue Moon, fast becoming one of my favorite beers ;)

Btw, you won the Blogging with Purpose Award. Check out my blog for details!

Sue L said...

HAHA! I love #10. I think I know that guy ;)

darlene said...

L.A. -- OMG! This is ROTFLMAO hilarious! I can't wait to read more of your writing and will link to your blog from mine! I meant to do that sooner. =)

(I can't tell you how nice it was to see you guys recently!)


L.A. Mitchell said...

Thanks so much for the award! Awesome. I'm gathering up my five to bestow the ganite-like graphic. I like the set-in-stone feel to it :)

I hope "that guy" doesn't get on one of your horses...haha.

Hey!! Thanks so much for the link from your blog. Seeing the gang was a definite highlight. Jim's will receive one of my five awards to pass along. Can't get much more purposeful than venom and breeding :)

LaVibora - Jim Campbell said...

It was great to see you AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! I've really enjoyed reading your blog, what a talent you have for writing. Keep up the wonderful work.


L.A's Hubby said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sherry Davis said...

LA, looks and sounds like you had a wonderful time. :)

You were missed!!