Thoughts today are so random, they can only be compiled in the form of a Vortex 10...
Top Ten Things I'm Thinking About Today
1) The universe has sent two flocks of religious zealots to my door in the past week. What does this mean? One, I tossed a newt on her sensible heel (long story) and told her I was Catholic. Didn't work. The other insisted I read her industrial toilet tissue-thin leaflet and contact them if I had any questions afterward. Yeah. I'll get right on that. I'm considering purchasing the $19.99 nun habit at Party City and keeping it by the door.
2) Speaking of costume shops, I'm thinking the adult female costume section needs a new addition. I'll call it #515 Bitch. Five foot six. Brunette trying to stretch to blond but stumbling into what Clairol would call "straw-pumpkin." Complete with two-sizes too small shirt and enough inflatables underneath to render costume fetchers in orange vests mute. Accessorize with a coach bag large enough to fit her mouth and a license tagged to her shirt that gives her the privilege to disregard all social etiquette.
3) I RickRolled someone today. If you don't know what this is, click here and consider yourself RickRolled. Random, I know, but I was in jr. high when this song came out and he looked exactly like john-I-have-a-crush-I-can't-explain-when-I'm-grown. In pre-adolescence, I hadn't come into my own with Z-rock and leather pants worship yet.
4) Beside my keyboard, page twenty of my manuscript looks like vomited Fruit Loops. I've attacked it with Margie Lawson's Deep Edits technique and I'm not sure whether to cheer for the tight, ruthless assault on what spills naturally from my brain or be offended that every single word seems to lack that special something now.
5) Revisiting Dwight Swain's MRU's have reduced my human experience this week to a long series of cause-effect stimuli I can't stop labeling.
6) I confess to seeing the final three minutes of Life on Mars last night, after still not watching the episodes clogging my DVR, and his little jig had my heart. Any man willing to show his complete inability to dance in front of fifteen million people has me already. I'm gorging on the episodes tonight.
7) The sunset last night on my journey to the mailbox made my knees weak. Some things words will never capture.
8) Wolf Blitzer was in my dream last night-college (again!). As disturbing as that was, as much as I would have given anything to swap him for Anderson, it was the only cautionary flag I needed to exile myself from CNN-island until 2009.
9) I've read WaiterRant's blog, almost from the beginning, but his appearance on Oprah this week made me as territorial as #515. I don't want to see his talent reduced to the same ass-landscape as Tom Cruise and Maria Shriver. Seriously, I'm happy for him.
10) Hello, statcounter visitor who googled "undress and tickle game" and landed here. I hope you found what you were searching for. Sort of.
Have a great weekend, everyone!