I love words with power. How the sheer creation of a term can make an idea acceptable. Fresh. Wicked good.
In some realms.
Such is the word guyliner. Think Jack Sparrow, only not a pirate. And not Johnny-Depp-can-get-away-with-this-hot. Three cosmetic companies are now marketing toward young men. Does this mean I'm firmly beyond the generation that understands why eyeliner is jumping the emo/punk ship and pilaging the rest of the male society?
Richard Alpert (Nestor Carbonell on Lost)
We know the Dharma camp stockpiled enough supplies to sustain the Oceanic survivors for eight seasons, but Nestor most likely hoarded the eyeliner under his cot. This seemingly everywhere leader of The Others wears more, even in suited attire, than all the women on the island combined. Is this so we can keep his character distinct in our minds from the nine hundred other secondary characters? "Oh, yeah. Here comes the metrosexual with the semi-automatic weapon." Is it a signal to the audience he's from another time? The year David Bowie applied more blue eyeshadow than aforementioned elderly relative? Yet, somehow, this may be the one normal guy on my list who can pull it off.
Exhibit B: David Cook
No, no, no, no, no. Just no. The slow evolution of David Cook from American Idol-humble to a man at the mercy of a eyeliner-wielding stylist is just wrong. We get the whole rocker thing, but even the quasi-red beard cannot pull you into Jack Sparrow Arrrrg territory. Just because Cook spouted the term in front of 22 million people and turned it mainstream doesn't mean he should own any part of it.
Brian Austin Green
This is enough to make me wish someone would start chanting, "Donna Martin graduates!" to distract me from enduring the eye burn. If you don't know who this is, no fear. One more dip into the Maybelline pool for this actor and he'll be on the second season of Confessions of a Teen Idol.
Exhibit D: Emo-Spidey
The words eyeliner and superhero should be banned from occupying the same sentence. This was such a misguided decision by make-up artists working on the movie that the term Emo-Spidey has its own place in the urban dictionary beside crappy movie. We love dark and tortured in the script, not on the eyes.
Lest you think I'm not all up into guyliner, I offer Exhibit E:
I confess to having a thing for Jared Leto since his My So-Called Life days. He gets a free pass from me for being in the music industry, though if I saw him on the street I'd chase him with a Q-tip and a jar of Vaseline. Make-up remover. Geez, people.
So why the resurgence? Must Jack Sparrow walk the plank for his fashion crimes against the male species?