The Marketplatz of Awesome, Part Deux

I ran across a great tip for anticipating holiday shopping: put your list in your cell phone. Be a good listener when you're around your to-buy-for peeps. When they mention something, get it on the phone. Be sure to check it often when you're already out running errands. Then, the gift is memorable for them, ultra-convenient for you.

But what about that hard-to-shop for blog reader who seems to have everything? Specifically, Vortexers, who are pleased only by the rarest gems of pop culture and WTH-ery? Fear not, dear followers. Our second Etsy installment is here!

1. The Naughty Bits brooch

Spice up that next scrapbook gathering! Cri-cut machines go perfectly with such progressive jewelry. Or how about sending a special message to that grocery sacker at Kroger? I may be buying unleavened pita bread, but Puritan waters run deep. Extra points to the seller for marketing them from "trashy romance novels."

2. Tardis Plush Toy

Enough said, right? Oh, the joy!

3. Vaccuum Tube Cuff Links

Men don't wear cuff links often enough. What could be sexier than being dressed up and ready for time travel?

4. Ghost Hunters Ink Drawing

So Jason looks like Curly and has a tumor growing out of his left cranium. Art, like writing, is so subjective. I have a pen and ink rendering of how the water pipes run under my house from the water heater repair guy. $30. Free shipping!

5. Elvis Presley Make-Out Blanket

What caught my eye here is the model's pose. Show me a fan who hasn't longed to do this in an open meadow and I'll show you a hot liar.

6. Stephen Hawking Paper Person

Marrying a paper doll to a physics genius makes my heart sing. I would adorn him with colorful post-its, make him my muse and love him forever.

7. Johnny Cash F*you laptop decal

Would this prevent creepy hairy guy from speaking to me at Starbucks about his Camaro?

8. Holy Crap, That Never Happened in the X-files Art

I would have distinctly remembered the lick. Artistic Liberty Schmiberty. On some fan fiction planet, this has inspired X-rated, I-want-to-believe fodder for Naughty Brooches.

Still, you say, I cannot add you to that gift list in my phone? Perhaps Etsy part one will have something that speaks to you. Or try the 15 Weirdest Etsy Finds.

Forty-five shopping days left, Vortexers. It takes time to find the crazy.

Next: The evolution of a brand