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Friday, March 18, 2011

Promise Me Something Better

Who writes for Dove Chocolates? Those carpe diem messages imprinted on the foil Promises wrappers? Today the peanut butter ones encouraged me to feel the sun on my face, make a date with my favorite book and think beyond limits. Please. If I'm diving into the chocolate, something decidedly non-zen has just happened.


If I were a writer on Dove's payroll, I'd unwrap these beauts:


Five minutes behind the ape guy on heavy meds in spin class. Worth it?


Add a food group. Call it Who-Cares.


Kiss before eating. My caramel is like mucus.


Fold laundry while eating. Eliminate guilt.


Bite me. No, really.


That fantasy? Re-live it. It's healthier than me.


Joanie loves Chachi. Without Joanie.


Turns your mother-in-law's voice into Charlie Brown's teacher.


Just like the cabana boy's skin.


In all seriousness, they're listening. Submit yours here.

5 comments:

dcrelief said...

Funny stuff. Here's mine:
'There's nothing like a moonlight suck.'

the walking man said...

Just think that "As you eat this, it too shall pass."

Charles Gramlich said...

"Bite me. No, really." had me spewing chocolate milk out my nose.

Anonymous said...

LOL! You are so clever! I hope you seriously submitted something. :)

Robin said...

LOL! You are so clever! I hope you seriously submitted something. :)