Thursday, January 26, 2012

Were T.S. Eliot to B-Slap Someone...

One thing I love about being a writer is the freedom I have in crafting beautiful, scathing correspondence.

Case in point: Someone from an organization owes me money. To me? A sizable amount. An I've-had-to-half-fill-my-gas-tank-for-a-month-while-awaiting-reimbursement kind of amount. So I went over said person's head to her boss and crafted an email that reflects what a total *&^*%&^% said person has been to me throughout this process in elegant prose that might put T.S. Eliot to shame. I love that I can write subtext of HOLY CRAP, GIVE ME MY MONEY while being overtly polite and respectful.

The written word is a beautiful thing.

Update: (makes me feel all Robert Stack) Inside of ninety minutes from hitting send, I had my money. Now that was a T.S. Eliot b*slap. God, I love writing.


Charles Gramlich said...

there are times when it comes in handy. Indeed. Great story! I've done similar things myself on occassion.

Robin Bielman said...

Lol! That is awesome. (And I'm so glad you got your money!)

the walking man said...

T.S. wrote like a girl, next time try writing like Bukowski or Ginsberg.

L.A. Mitchell said...

@Charles...I'm sure you inject a little horror into yours ;)

@Robin...thanks! Me, too.

@WM... You men and your Bukowski. He's like the sailor-belch of the poetry world.