Monday, November 28, 2011

The Communist Chocolate Hellhole of Time Travel

First, some pesky business. Vortexer Charles Gramlich is all up into the time travel thing, and it snuck up on me. I learned via a cold Google Alert that "Battles, Broadswords and Bad Girls," is part of the pulp fiction anthology A Rip Through Time. Charles, Charles, Charles. You've been holding out on us. Vortexers, head over to Smashwords and pick this up. Ga-head. I'll wait.

Terra Nova is holding its own in the ratings battle, coming in last week in the middle of the pack in its time slot. I've held on longer than I anticipated after the second episode. Maybe it's the sixteen pack abs and that Jason O'Mara-time travel-effect, but it still slides into my DVR dutifully each week, and I still watch it when I'm caught up on all my Alfred Hitchcock Presents eppies. There are no stellar award-worthy actors here. The CGIs are laughable at best. Do I care that love is blossoming in the younger set? Nah. Give me a skeleton autopsy and a wicked hot flip of the collar, 80's-style, any day. This is, after all, Thriller Island.(Middle Aged Male clip)

Though a bit of old news, still Vortex-worthy and waaaay too sweet to pass up...

A man claiming to be from the future was arrested at Switzerland's Large Hadron Collider back in April 2010. He was searching for his time machine power unit, something that resembled a blender, near the facility's kitchen. According to police, he wore a bow tie and "rather too much tweed for his age," and refused to reveal his country of origin. Upon arrest, the man claimed, "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

To show you how much I adore this six-ways-of-awesome randomness, I will inject a young man with a bow tie and "rather too much tweed for his age" into my next story. When the world becomes a communist hellhole, I can't think of anything better than a Kit Kat to make that medicine go down.

Have a great Monday, everyone.


the walking man said...

Charles is visiting another dimension of time most days or what passes for days here in this universe.

Sherry Isaac said...

A world without Kit Kats is not a world worth living in. Thank goodness the man was stopped. Too much tweed for a man his age? Please. Any tweed is too much tweed. One question: In the future, must I wear tweed in order to qualify for Kit Kat allowance?

Tweed or no tweed, this character IS a character, sure to inspire many writers no matter their genre. And that gets my imagination pumping. Hm. What if he's legit? Wouldn't that be a great story!

Charles Gramlich said...

Yes, a little time travel work from yours truly, part of a set from David over at Beat to a Pulp. I hope you enjoy. I saw the head commander from Terra Nova on the new Conan as a villain, and he was also in Avatar as a villain. He's about the most famous of the group I guess, but I'm generally enjoying it.

L.A. Mitchell said...

@WM-I'm feeling a little out-of-this-universe anticipation right about now myself. Submissions are in warp-speed.

@Sherry-agree on the tweed..makes me think of Don Knots for some reason.

@Charles-He *is* everywhere, isn't he? Not buying how he could kick Mira's ass on the last eppy. I know he's supposed to be in good physical shape for a gramps, but that chick has some guns.